As we reach Newport the first thing we see as we get off the bridge is Longwharf Seafood’s giant lobster. This place sells the most addictive seafood salad on the entire eastern seaboard but is maddeningly *always closed*, or so it has seemed to us—prompting @cottam to say one evening, “Why is that lobster so happy, is it because he has the day off?”

Today I struck gold. Not only was the lobster open for business, but the place was abundantly stashed. I explained how central this salad is to our happiness, wellbeing and general peace of mind. The owner broke into a giant smile and cheerfully rifled off his formula.

So, for the times Eddie’s seafood salad is out of reach: imitation crabmeat, very finely chopped celery, celery seed, lemon and pepper, garlic and mayo. “Anything else, Eddie?”… “Just practice, practice, practice.”